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At the heart of the Dr. Thomas Gordon’s Parent Effectiveness Training are listening and speaking skills that help you clarify what you hear and what you say to other people.  The last Tuesday Book Club teleconference gave participants a chance to practice active listening in a safe friendly no risk environment.  There are free videos available of all of the skills described in the book at Gordon Training International.  At least two generations of families around the world have adopted active listening and I-messages into their communication arsenal and dramatically improved family communication.

Here are the questions for the next two chapters of Parent Effectiveness Training, our August Tuesday Book Club selection.

Parent Effectiveness Training Chapter 6:  How to Talk So Kids Will Listen To You

Who owns the problem in this chapter?

What feelings are clues to who owns the problem?

List a few examples where you have owned the problem in a relationship.

Who does the parent need to help when the parent owns the problem?

What three alternatives does the parent have when he or she owns the problem?

What are the effects of sending solution and put-down messages?

Why are “I-messages” more effective than ”you-messages”?

What two characteristics foster intimacy?

Parent Effectiveness Training Chapter 7:  Putting “I-Messages to Work”

What are three common mistakes when using “I –messages”?

How do you use an “I-message” with a pre-verbal child?

What possible solutions can be used if children do not respond to “I-messages” at first?

What did you learn about the mixing of “I-messages” and active listening?

Tuesday Book Club meets by teleconference again on  Tuesday August 10, 2010 at 7:00 AM CDT at (512) 501-4531 and code 121014#.  Join us to practice these vital communication skills is there is any room for communication improvement in your relationships.

In friendship,

Lori L. Barr, M. D.

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